“One woman’s success is inspiration for another.”
Really! Does it work like that? Are you too asking yourself this question like me – on seeing this quote? Well, it’s a sad reality that people who are meant to be each other’s biggest supporters, at times end up being the one who pull one another down – like it’s nobody’s business.
Here’s another popular one –
“It is important for women to not knock each other down!”
Have you ever realized that a woman can be another woman’s best friend? But, are they? Are you really your girl-friend’s or that for that matter, lady boss’, colleague’s or mum-in-law’s best friend?
Why are we talking about this? Because we want you – through this gorgeous story of affection and mutual nurturance – to truly start supporting and backing the women – your Sakhis – in your life. And, these are not just your bosom pals or friends from school – and there too – no faking.
Does this ring a bell now? Or, all this till seems a hopscotch of random thoughts – that surely it is not!
Okay, let’s cut to chase. We bring you this stunning Photo Story titled Sakhi – my greatest friend – meant to make you stop, think, reflect and make a promise – with yourself. The promise of being genuinely there for women in your life – women who are not merely your sisters, mother or some closest relation – but women everywhere! Embrace, encourage and endorse all of them – from the women on the street to the ones on the silver screen and those at your workplace and at your home.
Ever heard a man criticizing or bitching about another man for things like food choices, multiple partners or no partners, shoes, dressing, character, body shape, marital status or the lack of it or other such trifle matters? Well, you would surely see them having fun and laughing at others’ expense – but most of the times, they are unlikely to be vile, whiny, grumbly or acutely negative. And, fun or jeering bit is also limited for only a handful few – the ones whom they deeply despise. They would hardly ever tell you what their (male) friend did last night!
On the other hand, most women may be too quick to form opinions or have knee jerk reactions to other women’s simplest of choices or decisions. Where a man makes fun, a woman criticizes! Imagine the kind of negativity you are bringing into your own life and being- by harbouring fruitless, harmful emotions. And, by doing so – you indirectly weaken and cut off your own support system. And – Gossip – well, don’t even begin us on that!
Change All This – for the better!
I am a woman too – so I will not take this rant further – even if it is nothing but a blatant truth. But, there are some points that I HAVE to make, and you can’t stop me. In fact, I am sure you will thank me later – even if you are cringing now…
Women are NOT boyfriend/ man-stealers
Years ago – and that hurt refuses to wane or fade – a so-called (girl) friend brutally yet smilingly told me – she thought I was trying to steal her precious boyfriend. By the way, this guy in question was my ‘best’ friend – and – nothing else! But, what made this specimen think like that? I was on the verge of an ugly break-up, my heart was in million pieces, my relationship had gone to the dogs – and I had even been talking about ‘other’ guys. This made me a ‘slut’ in the eyes of this madame. But then, why complain! Long after my tears had stopped flowing and my heart finally gave up on aching (and after my best friendship changed forever to something I no longer recognized) – I made peace with the fact that after all, this is the way of this world. Isn’t it?
Well, exactly the point – it doesn’t have to be. Women are not out there to pry on innocent –in-relationship men. And, if love happens (and yes, it can – even if both people are in ‘happy’ relationships) – or anything else does too – both the parties are involved. Be fair and equitable. Question your relationship – if there are trust issues – not another woman!
Other Women are FREE
Yes, to choose a partner, have a sexual preference, fall in love with a younger/ older man, or have a child through surrogacy or adoption – etc. etc. – even if this girl/ lady is your niece, cousin, colleague, friend-of-a-friend, neighbor, daughter-in-law etc. etc. Don’t be too quick to snap or judge. Don’t be brutal or cruel. Put yourself (or your beloved) in other’s shoes – and then give that cynical viewpoint.
They CAN say NO
Your boss said ‘no’ to your casual leave application, your friend disagreed with your plans for the weekend, or your mother-in-law did not agree to lunch with your extended family. But that’s okay. They are free individuals – and perfectly capable of taking their decisions, even if you are not party to them!
They CAN take their Decisions too
You get what you give
So go all out and support each other. Stand up for that female colleague when a male badass takes the liberty to slander her. Stay by the side of your daughter-in-law, when your drunken son returns home late. Validate what your friend or cousin feels for a same sex partner or for an unconventional profession. Let your daughter be a fashion model, even if your husband disagrees in the name of family values.
When you support and embrace other women, they too will stand like a rock for you. If a girl gets raped, it is NOT her fault – yes her own circumstances or choices may have been unfortunate or grossly wrong – but NO ONE wants to be raped. If a woman agrees to go a path astray, it’s her choice – you cannot – and should not – moral police her.
Be a SAKHI – you will get many Sakhis
Let’s make this world an oyster of happy, fulfilled, positive women – who are always on each other’s side. Understand, appreciate and stand up for women. Competition is fine but only in a sporting arena or on a stage. Life is not meant to be wasted in comparisons, competitions, rivalries and jealousies.
A beautiful woman is meant to be admired – not envied! By doing this, you will do yourself a huge favor. Try it today. Learn to give genuine compliments – and try not to bitch every time you talk to your favorite frenemy, bridezilla, boss-from-the-hell or whichever lady rocks your boat (literally). Once you teach yourself to do this – you will feel a lot more relaxed, composed, calmer, surer and more confident.
That doesn’t mean you don’t have to call spade a spade. For every genuine mistake –and for every business that’s genuinely yours – be free and confident to say and tell what’s right, fair and true – but be equitable – be as blunt with your male boss as you are with your woman colleague – and be as upfront with you boyfriend as you are with your (girl) friend.
Happy Galentine’s Day
“Happy Galentine’s Day!” I received a couple of similar forwards just a day before Valentine’s Day. With a little exploration on the internet I got to know about this relatively new ideology of ladies celebrating ladies. How beautiful! So, it’s not just me – but the whole world is waking up to the idea that – it’s about time we women got together to celebrate our Sakhis.
Garments Courtesy – Saree.com by Asopalav